A history lesson in trends

History has taught me so many things about fashion. Black is a constant, nautical and safari are always ‘key’ in spring summer, and hems rise and fall with the economy (this last revelation is particularly apt this autumn as austere calf-length garments that chime with the current talk of recession dominated the season’s catwalks).

One of the most annoying things I have learnt about ‘fashion’ though, only occurred to me recently. It was while I was in Faith last weekend trying to spend a £50 gift voucher. What I realised is that I am not only a terrible judge of people, but I am also an appalling judge of trends.

Let me break it down for you. Many a time I have met someone that I thought was absolutely fabulous. I spent every moment I could with them. They made me laugh, I made them laugh – I was a funnier, more intelligent, more attractive person when I was around them. However, it too quickly dawned on me that these people were actually crazy, high maintenance, exhausting and self obsessed. My infatuation quickly diminished.

On the opposite end of the scale, I have often met people who seem nice, kind, and genuine but kinda meh. They seem pleasant enough but my sheer laziness and rude nature meant I made little or no effort to develop a relationship. Embarrassingly these people have turned out to be amazing, interesting, beautiful and over time they eventually become some of my best friends (who now mock me endlessly for my initial cold and bitchy demeanour).

These examples quite accurately describe my relationship with fashion trends.

For instance, I find myself acknowledging what turns out to be the ‘winner’ of the trend bunch. It looks terribly nice and sturdy and classy I think. But I will dismiss it for reasons that are beyond fathoming right now and then proceed to back the donkey of the herd. The best example of this is skinny jeans.

When skinny jeans first arrived on the scene in 2002 I thought to myself “Oh my, aren’t they pretty? Wouldn’t they look great with this? Oh, and that! And those! They will fit right into my existing wardrobe. I must purrr-chase immediately!”.

I was grabbing my coat and purse and running out the door when an evil fashion monkey appeared from no-where and whispered into my ear “No! Wait! Hang fire! Edith – don’t spend your money on those! It will be a waste, a one-season ‘flash in the pan’ fad. Skinny jeans will never go the distance. This is not the 80s. You’ll HATE yourself next season if you buy them. Step away. Skinny jeans are DEAD to you!”

And so with sadness I did step away. And now it is 2008 and the fucking skinny jean refuses to die. Kate Moss is STILL wearing them. And of course I had to concede eventually and start wearing them because for a while they were the only style of jean that was available to buy ANYWHERE. And now I am bitter because I could have invested in a pair from the outset and been a ’style leader’ or ‘early adopter’ at the very least. But instead I ended up as a damn sheep! Baaaaaaaaa!

Erm, aaaaanyway. So. I’m in Faith with this £50 gift voucher; I’ve tried on 8 pairs of shoes and dismissed every pair for being too big, too small, too cold, too hot, blah blah blah. Finally I settle on these:

And yes, you guessed it. That is when I had my ‘epiphany’. *Boof*

Way back in 2005 when the gladiator sandal made its first appearance on the spring catwalks, I was worryingly obsessed with having a pair. I scoured the globe (read London) trying to find some, but alas it was not to be. When they eventually dripped down to the high street in 2006 they were being described as ‘ugly’ by the meedja. Clearly this meant that they were never going to be a must-have! I should NOT invest. I bid them a fond goodbye and wished them well on their journey to fashion oblivion.

fhhjfjkKFKJHFHJKLkFDJKjfjioklgjlkgjl;gt!!***HDJHjke

Oh, that was me mashing my head into the keyboard by the way. Because once again I completely mis-judged a trend, and lost out on years of good fashion time as a consequence.

I am determined that this will NOT happen again.

And so I got to thinking about Autumn 2008. I thought I’d make a list of potential trends that I don’t think will capture the public imagination. That will just not take off! Nuh-huh. Then I will take this list and I will BUY EVERY DAMN THING ON IT. Here is the typed up version of the list…

Trends to ignore (errrr, I mean run out and buy into immediately):

Lace: My immediate reaction is that this is going to be sooooo huge in this one season that is can’t possibly go the distance. It’s the ‘new’ ballet pump (which as we know did NOT take off). Clearly a 100-meter sprinter rather than a marathon runner. In a few months time it will look dated.

Peek-a-boo: In winter? People will be cold! Transparent fabrics and revealing garments just won’t cut the mustard in the wind and rain. Practicality is a paramount concern to any fashionista so this is doomed to fail.

Heritage and Military: Two words. Over exposed. There is a limit to how many brass buttons I can stand the sight of. And over the knee boots – I don’t even need to make a snide comment about pantomimes for you to see why they are destined for the sale rack.

So, race you to the shops?

Edith

Shop it to me!

Have you ever done that thing? You know that thing! Where you are wandering aimlessly around a shop just killing time until you have to either return to work or meet a friend, and then suddenly you see it. The dress/skirt/trousers/top/jacket/shoes/bag (delete as appropriate) of your dreams! That item that you know you were meant to be with!

You become breathless, your palms are clammy and your heart is racing. Your forehead starts to bead with sweat as you grasp for it. In the deep, dark depths of the piece of coal that is your fashion heart you know that you are meant to be together as one. United you will fight crimes against style!

Already deep into day-dream mode, you are picturing your long and happy future together, how you will introduce it to your fashion friends and family, and by golly how your daughter will squeal with delight when you can pass it down to her (not that you have a daughter yet mind you). Oh, you are so sure of this love that you feel ready for serious life long commitment.

Then while reaching for your purse and running towards the till you happen to glance at the ticket. And that is when the most awful thing happens. It stops you dead in your tracks. Chills your blood. You are screaming on the inside “WHY JEBUS WHY? I AM GOOD PEOPLE! WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME SO? WHY PRICE THE REALLY GOOD STUFF OUT OF MY HUMBLE REACH?”

A quick mental run through leaves you with the following options:

1. Nick it (you aren’t a very good runner though, especially in today’s shoes and you simply CAN’T GO BACK INSIDE AGAIN)
2. Sell a non vital organ like one of your kidneys (but you suspect that by the time you’d organised this the store will have sold out)
3. Sell a member of your family (however your klan are a sensitive bunch and so you anticipate that they may be a bit mad at you).

Deflated and defeated, feeling isolated and alone, you meander from the store in a haze. You have a lump in your throat and your insides are knotted. You were sure that dress/skirt/trousers/top/jacket/shoes/bag (again delete as appropriate) was the one. All the magazines say that when you meet your soul mate you just know because you feeeeeeeel it inside. You finally understood what that meant. It wasn’t supposed to end that way. *Sniff*

Oh, it’s a real pisser when that happens, isn’t it?

Well, this shall be no more! No, no no no no no no NO! And it’s all because of the very clever people from Shop it to me.

Shop It To Me is a free service that tells you when the stuff you love goes on sale. All you have to do is register (which only takes a few moments) and involves you picking your favorite brands (there are more than 500 to chose from including Prada, Banana Republic, Tory Burch, Marc Jacobs…), and inputting your size preferences. Finally you select the frequency that you want to be alerted (daily, weekly or monthly). Shop It To Me then emails you when a label you like goes on sale in your size. And fret not non USA citizens! There’s even the option to only select retailers that ship to your country. HUZZAH!

So now there is nothing more for be to do, but sit and wait and check my email obsessively. Because I know that I shall be rewarded for my patience. My soul mate is coming. Good people, start making way for the glorious Alexander McQueen blazer! Halle fricken lujah!

Edith

No ears and no tails!

Today I am a big (5′2″ is big in the grand scale of things, OK?) ball of lub. Lub lub lub.

You see my sister has just gone into labour. Her husband called to say the plug had ‘come out’ (I’m not sure what this ‘plug’ is but I have a feeling I really don’t want to know. Sounds icky). So, with the arrival of my first niece imminent, obviously anything fashion related in proportions small enough for a sprog is getting me whipped up into a right ole frenzy. Tis the bringing together of two of my greatest lubs. Lubs lubs lubs.

So, as you can imagine, I was especially excited when a lovely box containing this landed on my desk this evening:

Anything that isn’t an anti-aging product (frankly, I’m starting to find it insulting. Are people trying to tell me something?) or boring press release about bikinis is a very welcome change. But a sample relating to bambinas, well, what with sis about to explode, it’s guaranteed to get me all riled up (in a good way of course). Ohhhh, the squeal of delight I made when opening the box and discovering this ‘orange’ hat was audible all around the building.

Now, a friend of mine once said to me that her friend (I promise you this story isn’t going to end in an urban myth type tale where everybody dies and the killer licks your foot whilst pretending to be your pet dog and then writes a chilling message on your wall) had a rule about clothing for her children. Nothing with ears or tails was permitted. Now, I think this is a RIDICULOUS rule. Where is the fun in your friends and family having children if you can’t put them in comedy outfits and convince them they are the very animals that they are dressed as? I have very fond memories of a friend’s kid who on being presented with suitable attire became convinced that he was a monkey. He proceeded to howl in such a manner for over a week, even whilst at school. It was comedy gold.

Anyway, in the event that my sister decides to adopt this ‘no ears and tail’ rule, it’s no biggie. I can be down with that thanks to the good people of Cob Web Knits. Now, these hats could be perceived as a leetle bit freaky in a cabbage patch doll kinda way, but they are also veh veh cute. I can already envisage my niece rocking the lemon hat (yellow is sooooo this season dontcha know) this summer. And it is something delightfully different to present to my sister that isn’t the standard gift-voucher, baby grow or a bib (that says something hilarious and equivalent to ‘I’m a boob man’). Buying one of these is securing my place in the baby’s memorable gift hall of fame. And isn’t that what we all secretly want? To gain/buy the unquestionable love and admiration of another’s child so that we can teach them naughty words and gestures and in doing so annoy the shit out of their parents? HELL. YEAH.

Edith

Cob Web Knits is a family run business based in rural Dorset, which means that they get the Some Like It Fashion sustainable seal of approval!

Recession Dressin = Geox Shoes

So, my BBC news worthy fashion observation of the week… The usual press freebies (that are rarely directed at me but often at my bosses) are very thin on the ground at the moment. This is bad because anything they reject I get first dibs on. I show no shame; I’m in like Flin. Like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth. Imagine Smeagol and the “precious” and you get the idea. Anyway, the freebies seriously, very thin on the ground. I’m talking anorexic thin. I’m concerned. Is this what they mean when they talk about recession?! Fuck the mortgage crisis and the starving people around the world. What about ME! I need stuff that I don’t yet know I need!

So, as the pickings at work are slim, I was seduced by a store opening invite that promised a free pair of shoes (of my choice) on attendance.

9:30 last Thursday, I roll up to the new Geox in Covent Garden London. Polite chit chat is made with the PR girls and my peers. They’re smiling. I’m smiling. They’re laughing. I’m laughing. They’re not eating. I’m eating. All the while my eyes are darting around the room like a crack head looking for my next pipe and I’m screaming on the inside “JUST GIVE ME MY SHOES. I KNOW WHAT I WANT. I CHECKED THE WEBSITE BEFORE I ARRIVED! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!”. Fashion really does bring out the very best in people.

1 hour, 3 muffins, 2 bottles of water, 1 full bladder and a VERY long speech about rubber soles with holes in them later I have my prize. These:

Can my shitty old ballet pumps feel me now?!

I’ve been hankering for some loafers / boat type shoes for a while but I have held off in favour of topping up my ISA (people never warn you about how boring being a grown up actually is, do they?). First and foremost, I was attracted to the colour. That dull bronze is very trans-seasonal (and metallic NEVER seems to go out of fashion). I find that black can look harsh in the summer, whereas this colour compliments all seasons’ palettes. First pro: Longevity. Check!

I’m picturing these shoes in all sorts of combinations. In the summer with girly dresses, bare silky legs, manish blazers, long but delicate jewellery. The billowing breeze flowing through my hair not unlike a shampoo advert. Small animals following me, helping me with my tasks at work and bursting into song. A sorta post-modern ironic Cinderella if you will. And when the weather cools, I’m going to work them with slim jeans with narrow turn-ups, a crisp clean shirt and a tailored jacket. My hair will be sleek and chic. Children will cower and shy away from me. This look will be all about being rich and badass and driving a 4 x 4. Second pro: Versatility. Check!

Now, having spent the best part of a weekend wearing said loafers in a combination of the above looks I can confirm that these shoes can also be likened to slippers. I could happily run around in them all day and night. No rubbing, blisters or pinching to report. My only criticism would be (and it is very small) that they do very little to support the ankle. I’m quite unsteady on my paws generally so I have almost gone over on my ankle twice whilst wearing them. That could be down to my own clumsiness rather than the shoes though so I ain’t going to hold this against them. This leads me nicely to my final pro: Practicality. Check!

The big question remains though. If I had to buy these shoes with my own £65 worth of cold hard cash, earned with blood, sweat and tears, would I? If you’d have asked me on Wednesday I’d have said no. They’re just Loafers, right? Cheaper pairs can be found easily. However, having had them in my possession for a weekend, I am starting to wonder how my wardrobe ever worked without them. The technology in the sole that stops sweaty feet and keeps out rain water means they are suitable to wear for most of the year, they work with almost all of the looks I like to rock, and perhaps best of all, they do not hurt my feet at all. No painful wearing in to be endured. In fact, I’m so enamoured that I’m thinking about using some of that ISA money to do my bit to end the recession and buy a pair in pink…

Edith.

Weddings. And what to wear to them.

Ohhhh, it’s coming to that time of year again. Save-the-date cards are landing on the mat and blogs all around the world are telling you what to wear to weddings. Well, Some Like It Fashion is no exception, we are *jumping* on that bandwagon. Hell yeah! Make room!

I’m going to be honest with you though, this wedding malarkey fills me with panic. Not because of the event itself of course. What is not to like about weddings? A girl in a pretty dress, several in comically awful ones, free food, plenty of booze, cheesy music and dads dancing. Seriously, what is not to like? No no no no NO. The reason I get anxious is not because of the event, but the amount of time, money and energy that I will be required to spend leading up to the ‘big day’. Very few weddings happen locally, so you need to organise travel, accommodation and in my case, a cat sitter. Then there is the gift, which means going to look at the register (inevitably too late so you end up buying the shittiest combination of gifts ever, something like 4 teaspoons, 2 glass tumblers and 2 hand towels). And then finally, after all that – what in the name of sweet Jesus are you going to wear?

These days of course, there is an added complication to think about as well. We are required to interpret invites as if we were Mystic Meg to figure out how to dress appropriately (The Coveted cover this excellently btw) for the occasion. As you know wedding attire etiquette is not what it once was. There was a time when we knew what was expected of us: dress, heels, hat, gloves and a smart handbag and the men wore ties (not just around their heads like Rambo at the end of the night). But this is often deemed a little OTT these days. The new ‘dress down’ policy offers more flexibility with outfits, but that’s not always a good thing. It does mean we can be a little bit more ‘fashion’, but we have to be careful not to compete with the bride for attention and remember that food, drink and dancing is going to impact on our appearance at the end of the night. And to make matters worse, there is a VERY strong chance that as you and your outfit descend into drunkenville the whole thing will be documented on facebook. Allowances for this must be made.

So, what to wear? WHAT TO WEAR? If you don’t want to blend into the bland ocean of Monsoon dresses at this summer’s weddings, but at the same time need a little inspiration, decide which shopper you are and then read on, my friend:

1. I have time to search for the cheapest suitable outfit possible, ideally one that I can return should the hem somehow mysteriously fall down after being worn only once…
2. I have time to search for an outfit and a bit of dosh, but it needs to be something I will wear again afterwards.
3. I just want to throw money at the problem and make it go away!

1: I have time to search for the cheapest suitable outfit possible, ideally one that I can return should the hem somehow mysteriously fall down after being worn only once…

With the exception of the cuff and headband, this outfit is entirely high street and therefore quite bargainous. I ain’t going to lie to you, you could find cheaper if you are brave enough to tackle a Primark. I ain’t. This Luella style yellow dress is from Red Herring and can be purchased in Debenhams. Team this with a boyfriend style blazer, simple stud earrings and black shoes so that is doesn’t seem twee (those pictured are from Topshop). Because the dress is so froufrou, the accessories need to be simple. An in your face fascinator (the norm for most wedding guests) would be too much, so an Alice band is the perfect solution. This one is Miu Miu and you can buy it on-line from Start boutique in London. Finally, a flash of contrasting colour is added in the form of a purple cuff by Fendi from Net-a-Porter. Obviously, there are high street versions of this Alice band and bracelet, so if the piggy bank is empty, check out Accessorize or even New Look for an abundance of options.

Tip: do not be tempted to go too matchy-matchy. You are not posh spice! (Are you? Please be reading this, Vicky, pleaaaase). Break up a colour scheme by adding a small flash of a contrasting colour.

2: I have time to search for an outfit and a bit of dosh, but it needs to be something I will wear again afterwards.

This outfit is a refreshing change to what you see at most weddings as women tend to veer away from trousers. Don’t be put off, it is completely appropriate. These pieces work fantastically as separates and will be great additions to your wardrobe. The silk top is David Szeto and is available from Matches. He’s a pricey piece, but the lobster print is beautiful and unique. The black high waisted trousers are from Debenhams and will transport you effortlessly from the ceremony to dinner to dancing. The shoes are from Reiss and the earrings are Urban Outfitters, they will work with so many other outfits in addition to this it’s ridiculous. The soft peach hue of the Vanessa Bruno demi- sheer jacket compliments the printed top and the bright blue bag by Topshop makes the whole outfit pop giving it a ‘fashion’ edge.

Tip: Go easy on the jewellery. You are not in the A-Team. Earrings, a necklace, a bracelet and a ring is far too much. Go for a two at the most. If the neckline is quite busy (like above) chose earrings over a necklace.

3: I just want to throw money at the problem and make it go away!

If you want to do all of your purchasing on the interwebby and have a credit card burning a hole in your pocket, this is the perfect outfit for you. Everything (bar the silk flowers) is from Net-a-Porter. This orange dress by Vanessa Bruno is a beautiful tone and perfect for summer shin-digs. The cut is tres flattering (and it will be comfortable even after a 3 course meal and knee slides on the dance floor). The fabric of the dress is almost casual, so team it with a nice tailored jacket like this one from Vivienne Westwood to smarten it up. Simple black shoes like these from Marc Jacobs and this black clutch from Christian Louboutin tie the whole look together. A bit of bling in the form of a long Vivienne Westwood orb compliments perfectly. Finally, some silk flowers in the hair are a lovely alternative to a hat. These two are from V V Rouleaux and can be pinned into hair, or, if your hair is short, stitch them onto a piece of ribbon and tie around your head as you would a head scarf.

TIP: Spend more money on accessories, they won’t date as fast and it is true what they say: they do make cheaper clothes look expensive.

So, there you have it. Dressing for weddings, in (quite a large) facebook worthy nutshell.

Edith

Kate Moss for Topshop. Cock right off!

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say what I think many of you are thinking…

Kate Moss’s collections for Tophop are SHIT. Especially the latest one which launched yesterday. They aren’t even collections (and I am qualified to say that because I studied fashion design at uni, so ner!). Just random clothes hung together, a bit like a nice charity shop that just happens to have several of each item (perhaps because they chanced on some dead-stock you think to yourself?). There is no concept, no obvious colour palettes, little in the way of repeat details, and the fabrics, well, to be fair, they are what to be expected for that price point. It is just a mish-mash of clothes that you have a vague recollection of seeing the supermodel wearing at some point over the past few years.

What we (and Philip Green) need to remember is that, just because you have the ability to make anything look good, some style, and you can make Jo Public willing to sell their Gran just to own the latest shoite you were pictured in, this does not mean you should be heralded as a designer. I mean, my sis has this knack of making any old polyester market tat look fantastic, but I wouldn’t recommend for one second that Harold Tillman hand over the keys to Jaeger design studio and say ‘there you go luv, knock yourself out!’.

I do understand what Sir Philip Green was thinking (my Nan would say he was just seeing pound signs in front of his eyes and *tut*). But the fact that these ‘collections’ are based on what Moss herself has worn and not what she wants to wear in the future illustrates my point beautifully. She has no credible talent in this area. No vision. Arguably, she is able to recognise a good thing when she sees it, she does have an eye and could be an excellent stylist. But she is not a designer. Kate’s collections are reminiscent of what Topshop was doing years ago, you know, when it was dirt cheap, safe and a bit rubbish (but the high street was limited back then so we had no choice but to go there for our ‘Friday night on the tiles’ outfit). Well, people, this is no longer the case, So I beg you, I URGE you in fact. STOP THIS MADNESS! Don’t buy this pathetic excuse for a collection, and lets restore Ms Moss to her rightful position in society: The beautiful, crack-lovin (allegedly) laydee that we all know and *heart*.

Edith

Images from the fashion police

A summer wardrobe essential… beautiful jewellery

Summer is all about simple clothes, effortless style and sweating as little as possible. Less is more. You make your statements with jewellery and accessories. Which of course brings us to our first hurdle: where do you find interesting, affordable pieces that every high-street store hasn’t produced a version of?

Zoe Bassi is one solution to such a problem. A young Scottish designer based in Bristol, she produces contemporary, handcrafted jewellery with prices starting from as little as £35.

I feel a bit of a *crush* coming on. I can already envisage how these will work with my wardrobe and compliment this seasons trend for pale denim. In addition to that, I *heart* that they are made in the UK (free from unfair labour guilt which is becoming a total drag) and that you can commission special one off pieces. For me, the appeal of vintage is that I’m wearing something that theoretically, no one else owns. If I can now do that without smelling like old laydeez, I’m sold! Oh, and boys, please don’t feel left out. Zoe Bassi also has a fandabbydozer collection of cufflinks.

Edith.

BODYSHOCK: When boobs grow and wardrobes are destroyed! Getting measured and fitted for bras.

It happened so gradually, I wasn’t even aware of it. And then, KER POW! There they were. My four breasts. I was standing in front of the mirror trying to decide whether my t-shirt disguised or emphasised my mini muffin top when I first saw them. “HUH, WHAAAA, meeeehhh, HAAAA, Where…?” where some of the words suitable before the watershed to come out of my mouth.

Apparently I am not alone, either. I consulted several friends about this ‘phenomenon’ and 3 of them admitted they had experienced similar miraculous growth despite being grown women in their 20s and 30s.

Obviously, the fella fails to see the problem in this, but there is one. I now have beautiful shirts that gape, t-shirts that pull unattractively, and tops and jackets that strain across my new heaving bosom. Wonderful clothes rendered useless.

Not one to give up on fashion though, I decided some good bras would solve this problem. So, off I went to John Lewis to get measured (I feel I should say at this point, I am avoiding M&S EVEN though I do have several bras from there that have served me well. The reason I am boycotting them so to speak is because (if I am boring you, feel free to skip down to the measuring and fitting review in the next paragraph) a couple of months ago I went to the Bournemouth store with my pregnant sister. She needed to be measured for maternity bras. We went to 4 different places and called on M&S last because we felt it was a ’sure thang’. Oh how wrong we were! They were by far the worst of all the places we went. The 3 other stores measured my sister as a 34b and bras of that size fitted her well. M&S felt she was a 36b (we were dubious but went with it), but on trying on at LEAST 30 bras nothing fit. Not even the 36a sizes. They were wrinkling across her bust. My sister cried because “my back is getting fatter and my tits are getting smaller”. I cried. The fitter cried. OK, the fitter didn’t cry, but I did. It was shocking, M&S made my sister cry! This experience said to me that M&S sizing is not consistent with that of the rest of the high street, and the fit of their underwear is pants. Heh, geddit?)

In contrast to the mentally scarring episode at M&S (Stuart Rose, expect a bill for my sister’s therapy), my experience at John Lewis was everything I could have asked for; friendly, professional, un-intimidating (once I got past the embarrassment of showing my breasts to a stranger) and the fitter (Chris) was extremely knowledgeable in her field. Chris measured me and then asked me what style of bras I preferred in terms of design and colour. She brought a selection of ranges in 2 sizes (sizing can differ according to range and so it is important to be fitted every time you buy a bra) for me to try. Then, Chris explained how a good bra should fit:

1. When you purchase a bra, not only should it fit you on the loosest fastening, but also the straps should have length to be made shorter. With time the elastic in the straps and across the back will give, and so you need to be able to re-adjust your bra to compensate.
2. The bra should be level round your back, fit flat against your the middle of your chest, and the under-wiring should properly cup around the breast.
3. Every woman has one breast slightly bigger than the other, and so when buying a bra you have to find the compromise. You need one that supports both breasts without being to small for the larger one.

With the help of Chris I picked out 3 bras and matching briefs from the Elle Macpherson range which look and feel great. It is not a brand I would have veered to myself, but the cut is surprisingly amazing (something to do with a double dart I think), I found myself unable to stop staring at my boobs in them.

The real question to be answered though is, did this rescue my wardrobe from potential redundancy? Well yes and no. Unfortunately, when your boobs go from a 32c to a 32dd some things are just never going to fit again. However, now that my breasts are safely contained with no risk of spillage, my t-shirts and some of my favourite shirts and jackets are now back to looking like normal (the ‘puppies fighting in a bag’ effect is no more). And, for that I am truly grateful. I owe this mini fashion miracle to John Lewis. If you haven’t been there for a fitting, I highly recommend it. Their lingerie department really is the cat’s whiskers.

Edith

My appointment was with Chris in the lingerie department of the Oxford Street (London) branch of John Lewis. If you would like to be measured, you do not need an appointment, you can just show up. If however, they are too busy to accommodate you at that time, they will book you a time to return. A fitting usually lasts between 10 – 25 minutes. John Lewis lingerie department specialise in mastectomy, maternity and first bras.

How to… Shop in a charity shop (and not look like a hobo)

We’ve all been lulled into our local charity shop under the guise of eco-shopping and the promise of finding a real vintage treat. A sixties dress? A 70s jacket? An 80s jumpsuit? The excitement! It doesn’t happen. The scouts for retro shops nearly always buy them before they are even on the shop floor, fuckers.*

Fear not though, there are treats to be had that you will find in even the most dire of charity shops. You know, the ones you walk into and just think “WHY AM I HERE, SWEET JESUS?”. Seriously! Here’s a list of 6 things to look out for:

1. Mens shirts: Every second hand place has a multitude of these bad boys. Avoid anything that isn’t 100% cotton and check to make sure there are no pit stains and dirt on the collar. These look great worn belted over short skirts for that St Trinian vibe and tucked into jeans teamed with a blazer for that androgenous look. Expect to pay between £3 – £6.

2. Mens formal accessories: Don’t head out of the men’s department just yet, it’s a great place to pick up things that add an element of fun to your wardrobe. Look for ties, braces and cummerbunds. All of these, when teamed with the right thing look great. Think about a bright tie with a fitted shirt: a perfect work look. Braces with jeans and trainers: casual weekend frolicks. A clashing colour cummerbund with a t-shirt and heels: an evening out. The important thing to remember here is that these things must be in good condition. As eye-catching items, if they don’t look smart, your whole look will be perceived as scruffy. Prices range from £0.50 – £5.00

3. Womens tailored jackets: You can pick up some real gems in the jacket and coat section of a charity shop. People tend to tire of these items long before they are ready for the rag-bag. Be sure to check the linings, especially near the armholes. Make sure buttonholes and zips are secure. Classic colours like navy are always a wise purchase but when shopping second-hand you can afford to be more adventurous and go for something in hot pink. You get what you pay for here, so be prepared to part with up to £30.

4. Costume Jewellery: Most of my jewellery has been amassed from places like the Salvation Army, Cancer Research and Scope. You can find amazing statement necklaces, brooches and often vintage clip-on earrings and watches from the 50s and 60s. Clip-ons are making a come back so these are definitely worth looking out for. Usually, prices start at around £1 for earrings and go up to £10 for a watch.

5. Silk Scarves: Rummage around in the scarf bin, often you can find some pretty pieces, that if not Hermes certainly looks like it. Pounce on anything 100% silk. Square shaped scarfs are great to recreate this season’s looks. Hold them to the light to check for any flaws and to make sure they are not fraying. For a silk scarf you will be looking at paying around £4.

6. Hats: Old laydees tend to donate them (especially the pillar-box variety, which is hot hot hot right now) and they cost a fraction of the price they do new. Great for the wedding season which is almost upon us. A run of the mill pillar-box should be around the £2.50 mark but expect to pay up to £7 for something a bit jazzy.

Things to avoid, pants (euuuwwww, need I say more?), shoes (nearly always scuffed and stretched) and t-shirts (often washed out and mis-shapen).

Finally, before I send you on your way (via Oxfam of course), remember when going charity shopping, take your old bras for donation. Because one woman’s trash is another woman’s over the shoulder boulder holder.

Edith

* with the exception of traid, some of their stores specialise in vintage fashion and usually have an excellent retro stock.

Please note that prices are rough guides and will vary from area to area.

The rise of the geeky, salsa dancing man

Yes – It has finally happened.

“What?!” I hear you cry! The modern man’s wardrobe has expanded outside the realms of the traditional for the first time since the 1800s.

“What is this absurdity of which you speak?!” I hear you exclaim! Brace yourself, for the rise of the – wait for it, waaaaaaait for it… t-shirts and trousers!

“You’re crazy” I see you mouth! But no, I’m not. You see these aren’t just any t-shirts and trousers. No Sir! The t-shirts are revealing and cut low and the trousers are ankle-skimming (not crops you understand, regular trousers that are just a bit to short). The kind made famous by the legendary Thom Browne.

“Utter tosh! This isn’t womens fashion!” I hear you shout! But yes, it’s true. These ‘trends’ witnessed upon the catwalks for the past few seasons, on the odd lanky teenager during a growth spurt and the occasional berated celebrity have now made it to the doors of the mass market.

“Well, I haven’t seen these monstrous and beastly things of which you speak!” I hear you screech! Just wait till next season, AW O8/9 for the cropped trousers; they’re in the look books. And well, the low cut t-shirts are being sold under your very nose in stores everywhere.

“But surely only the likes of Topman will be doing something so utterly mad-capped and men-tar-ley, you know, for the international students to wear?” I hear you say! Yet again, my good friend, you are wrong. Gap, Cos, Banana Republic, Hackett as well as Topman, they’ve all jumped on this bandwagon. Banana Republic has designed a formal suit with ankle revealing trousers if rumours are to be believed. And for crying out loud, man! Brooks Brothers are already selling them!

“But these are some of the most classic and conservative brands on the high street!” I hear you gasp! Yessum, indeedio. True Fact. But even they seem to think it’s the future.

“So, what does this mean for our fellow man’s wardrobe?” I hear you mumble! Well, let me answer your last question, first by stating where I stand on this matter. I (unlike Phoebe) wholeheartedly approve of this new look (on hearing this she smashed her fist onto the table, almost spilling my wine, recoiled in horror and exclaimed “SERIOUSLY!?”). I can only hope that men embrace this look like they would their X Box 360 as though they have been separated from it for several months. And, this isn’t one of those cases like Mrs Prada’s ‘revenge’ where I think boys should be sent down the runway in tutus (although, incidentally, I did *heart* that Prada collection). As a heterosexual female I find this look attractive. I do, damn it! I will not be ashamed anymore! I love this look like I love Girls Aloud! What is not to like? A glimpse of chest? Yes please! Showing a bit of ankle? I’ll jolly well take it! SERIOUSLY, what is not to like?

For those of you that I have already convinced with my politically correct and compelling argument, welcome to the wonderful dark side of fashion, mwahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA, (please keep your hands inside the cart at all times); for the rest of you, let me leave you with this thought. Why is it OK for women to wear these clothes without comment or judgement but not a man? If your answer is “because it is just wrong on a man” that will not suffice and you are a sexist brute who belongs on the Jeremy Kyle show.

To get back to answering your question though “what does this mean for the modern man’s wardrobe?”, well it simply means this: be prepared to see more moobs and more leg over the coming seasons than ever before. Shockingly exciting, non? For those of you that are still a little apprehensive or even concerned, let me give you a few words of guidance that will allow you to love this trend like you would your mother (i.e. without question, even when the shit is being annoyed out of you). The plunge t-shirt combined with the ankle-skimming trouser is a tad too much when worn together (picture a sort of cheesy, geeky, man on his way to a salsa evening if you will), but when worn in isolation with ‘regular’ clothes these items are truly fabulous. So ladies, encourage the men to consider something a little bit different to the norm. And men, be brave in these, such uncertain times. March forward and dress for your country! Make us proud. Try a deep V. Try a short trouser (and if this really is a step too far too soon, I’ll settle for a Reiss button neck t-shirt and some Ted Baker trousers rolled up Dsquared style: see image bottom right).

Now go forth and shop!

Edith