The allure of the peep-toe boot

One of ‘fashion’s’ greatest strengths is its ability to make us covet things that sometimes at best can only be described as ridiculous. For example, I stumbled across these ‘vintage 80s neon leotard bandage onesie shorts’ (the sellers words – not mine) on ebay, which are evil for so many reasons. And yet I find that I desire them. I long to touch the stretchiness of this obscure playsuit. It’s absurd. But I feel myself drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Excited yet scared by the styling quandary they create. I can remember feeling like this 15 years ago. I was 11 and it was school sports day. I kept thinking that I needed to wee. It was actually nerves and adrenalin rather than a weak bladder. If I win… how will I work a gold badge / Lycra jumpsuit seamlessly into my existing wardrobe?

I feel the same way about the peep-toe boot as I do about the stretch clown suit from ebay. I first noticed peep-toe boots when they began to emerge on the catwalks last winter, I was temporarily distracted by a rather fetching boyfriend blazer though so didn’t have time to give them any serious thought. However, I’ve since refocused my mind because they’re starting to surface in stores and have been the topic of many a conversation at work. I have to admit, I want a pair so bad that I am considering going into Browns and licking this Marni pair in the vain hope that the sales assistant will take pity on the mad lady and and just comp me a pair.

Highly unlikely, I think you’ll agree (not the licking obviously, the getting a pair for free). So, as I can’t afford to buy so much as a button right now (I bid big on the neon onesie) I’m going to use this post as a form of therapy to help me through my shoe grief. It is after all a very wise action indeed for me not to purchase these divine Tory Burch boots from Net-a-Porter.
First and foremost, lets discuss practicality (blasphemous in fashion I know). Boots with holes in! Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s just asking for trouble given that the worlds population of 2 billion cows have decided to avenge us for eating them the only way they know how, by farting. They release so much methane that they have assured the destruction of the planet by accelerating global warming (it’s definitely the cows fault, not ours). This has caused us to be plagued by rain even in August, never mind in the traditional boot wearing season! Feet that have prolonged exposure to cold, damp conditions get trench foot! I know! I’m willing to risk developing a hump back by dragging my enormous and over filled handbag around town; but a stinky fungal infection is quite a different kettle of fish. My vintage clothes hum-ding bad enough as it is, I really don’t want to add another layer of smell to the situation. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the aesthetics of these boots. The proportions are, well, plain strange. Clumpy and cumbersome.

Lastly, there is a strong chance that the peep-toe boot will be a flash in the fashion pan (like those pixie flats that turned up at the toe – remember those?). Next year everyone will snigger at them and be like “soooooooo 2008″. Hmmm? Actually, thinking about it, maybe they will smile and be like “sooooooo 2008” in a good way? Because they are iconic. You know? Instantly recognisable for their sheer brilliance, like the Balenciga floral meets American football collection. And the proportions do sorta work really, dontcha think? A bit like a screwball icecream, odd yet delightful with a weird surprise at the end.

Oh, who am I kidding? I love them. I neeeeed them! I’m not ashamed! MY NAME IS EDITH PURDY AND I LOVE PEEP-TOE BOOTS! Godammit, they look good and I can wear them with my vintage 80s neon leotard bandage onesie shorts so they are practical after all! ARE. YOU. WITH. ME?!

*tumbleweed*

OK, fine. I can live with that. The cheese stands alone. Just promise me that when I’m still wearing them next year and you say “they are soooooo 2008″, that you’ll say it with a smile and pretend not to notice the smell.

Edith

Strawberries and Cream at Wimbledon. With a side of feet please!

Hmmm, what can I say? What can I say? I like shoes. I like strawberries. I like cream (actually I don’t like cream but you get where I am going with this). And yet, I find that I do NOT like these:

Shoes inspired by Wimbledon. They are designed by Shandals, are made from Vinyl and lined with Cream Connolly leather (the very same leather that Rolls Royce and Bentley use to make their cars seats from. Oh er missus).

Now, correct me if I am wrong. But the first thing you think of when you look at these shoes is not a tennis tournament is it? Admit it, you thought of a tablecloth as well, didn’t you? The kind you find in a well dodge greasy spoon cafe. Yessum?

And so, while I appreciate the sentiment (very entrepreneurial, capitalising on opportunities blah blah BLAH) made by the clearly very amusing Mr Alan James Raddon I feel I must say nnnNNNnnoooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOooooooooooOOOOO to it.

Edith

Recession Dressin = Geox Shoes

So, my BBC news worthy fashion observation of the week… The usual press freebies (that are rarely directed at me but often at my bosses) are very thin on the ground at the moment. This is bad because anything they reject I get first dibs on. I show no shame; I’m in like Flin. Like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth. Imagine Smeagol and the “precious” and you get the idea. Anyway, the freebies seriously, very thin on the ground. I’m talking anorexic thin. I’m concerned. Is this what they mean when they talk about recession?! Fuck the mortgage crisis and the starving people around the world. What about ME! I need stuff that I don’t yet know I need!

So, as the pickings at work are slim, I was seduced by a store opening invite that promised a free pair of shoes (of my choice) on attendance.

9:30 last Thursday, I roll up to the new Geox in Covent Garden London. Polite chit chat is made with the PR girls and my peers. They’re smiling. I’m smiling. They’re laughing. I’m laughing. They’re not eating. I’m eating. All the while my eyes are darting around the room like a crack head looking for my next pipe and I’m screaming on the inside “JUST GIVE ME MY SHOES. I KNOW WHAT I WANT. I CHECKED THE WEBSITE BEFORE I ARRIVED! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!”. Fashion really does bring out the very best in people.

1 hour, 3 muffins, 2 bottles of water, 1 full bladder and a VERY long speech about rubber soles with holes in them later I have my prize. These:

Can my shitty old ballet pumps feel me now?!

I’ve been hankering for some loafers / boat type shoes for a while but I have held off in favour of topping up my ISA (people never warn you about how boring being a grown up actually is, do they?). First and foremost, I was attracted to the colour. That dull bronze is very trans-seasonal (and metallic NEVER seems to go out of fashion). I find that black can look harsh in the summer, whereas this colour compliments all seasons’ palettes. First pro: Longevity. Check!

I’m picturing these shoes in all sorts of combinations. In the summer with girly dresses, bare silky legs, manish blazers, long but delicate jewellery. The billowing breeze flowing through my hair not unlike a shampoo advert. Small animals following me, helping me with my tasks at work and bursting into song. A sorta post-modern ironic Cinderella if you will. And when the weather cools, I’m going to work them with slim jeans with narrow turn-ups, a crisp clean shirt and a tailored jacket. My hair will be sleek and chic. Children will cower and shy away from me. This look will be all about being rich and badass and driving a 4 x 4. Second pro: Versatility. Check!

Now, having spent the best part of a weekend wearing said loafers in a combination of the above looks I can confirm that these shoes can also be likened to slippers. I could happily run around in them all day and night. No rubbing, blisters or pinching to report. My only criticism would be (and it is very small) that they do very little to support the ankle. I’m quite unsteady on my paws generally so I have almost gone over on my ankle twice whilst wearing them. That could be down to my own clumsiness rather than the shoes though so I ain’t going to hold this against them. This leads me nicely to my final pro: Practicality. Check!

The big question remains though. If I had to buy these shoes with my own £65 worth of cold hard cash, earned with blood, sweat and tears, would I? If you’d have asked me on Wednesday I’d have said no. They’re just Loafers, right? Cheaper pairs can be found easily. However, having had them in my possession for a weekend, I am starting to wonder how my wardrobe ever worked without them. The technology in the sole that stops sweaty feet and keeps out rain water means they are suitable to wear for most of the year, they work with almost all of the looks I like to rock, and perhaps best of all, they do not hurt my feet at all. No painful wearing in to be endured. In fact, I’m so enamoured that I’m thinking about using some of that ISA money to do my bit to end the recession and buy a pair in pink…

Edith.

Trainers are back ‘in’. Why were they ever out?

The weekend’s Sunday Times Style Guide proudly announced that “trainers are back – and they’re big, brash, loud and fat”.

Well, yes, I keep hearing they are hot but I ask you this. Why did they ever go out of fashion? Hmmm?

It wasn’t long ago that they were banned from most clubs, frowned upon by fashionistas and Natasha Beddingfield wouldn’t be seen dead in them. And she wore this. Trainers were as welcome as a paedophile in Toys R Us. And yet inspite of this, my love for them never faltered. I sang “Near, far, wherever you areeeee, I believe that the heart does go on, Once more you open the door, And you’re here in my heart, And my heart will go on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnn” at the top of my voice in a moving serenade to a rather cute adidas pair once. (I now wear them with mini-skirts and coloured tights, rolled up jeans and frilly ankle socks. They are simply marvellous.)

Aside from the cool japanese kitsch style angle they can bring to an outfit though, they are also wonderfully practical. Now, I do realise as someone who loves fashion I should never EVER compliment an item of clothing, footwear or an accessory for its useful qualities; but they are perfect for those days in-between shoes that cripple your feet (and make you walk like a fat duck that has poo’d itself). In fact, this is the real reason trainers are hot again. Because we all need a break from wearing the “it Shoe“, non?

Now that we have established that trainers really are cool and that they can look chic and that they are socially acceptable; lets talk about where to get some without risking looking like a thief or a geek. I won’t insult you by telling you exactly what pairs to buy (how can I know what will compliment your wardrobe?), I’ll just point you in the general direction. Puma, surprisingly have a great selection of lifestyle shoes, bear in mind that they look better in-store than on-line. (I once chased a woman down the street to ask her where her footwear was from, only then to be embarrassed that I didn’t notice the HUGE gold cat logo emblazoned on the side of them). Adidas always have a cute “superstar sleek” range that comes in at around the £65 mark. If you want to hug the world then Terra Plana is definitely the brand for you, they make the worn again range of sustainable footwear. Their trainers are constructed almost entirely (99%) out of recycled materials and therefore every pair is unique. If you are near one, Selfridges is worth a look. They have a great wide range, something to suit everyone (from the little known to the household brand). Finally, TK Maxx is the place to go if you are looking for something cheap as chips and a little bit different. I am told by a real life trainer enthusiast that his fellow kind roam free here, looking for special pieces to add to their collections.

Edith