Recession Dressin = Geox Shoes

So, my BBC news worthy fashion observation of the week… The usual press freebies (that are rarely directed at me but often at my bosses) are very thin on the ground at the moment. This is bad because anything they reject I get first dibs on. I show no shame; I’m in like Flin. Like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth. Imagine Smeagol and the “precious” and you get the idea. Anyway, the freebies seriously, very thin on the ground. I’m talking anorexic thin. I’m concerned. Is this what they mean when they talk about recession?! Fuck the mortgage crisis and the starving people around the world. What about ME! I need stuff that I don’t yet know I need!

So, as the pickings at work are slim, I was seduced by a store opening invite that promised a free pair of shoes (of my choice) on attendance.

9:30 last Thursday, I roll up to the new Geox in Covent Garden London. Polite chit chat is made with the PR girls and my peers. They’re smiling. I’m smiling. They’re laughing. I’m laughing. They’re not eating. I’m eating. All the while my eyes are darting around the room like a crack head looking for my next pipe and I’m screaming on the inside “JUST GIVE ME MY SHOES. I KNOW WHAT I WANT. I CHECKED THE WEBSITE BEFORE I ARRIVED! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!”. Fashion really does bring out the very best in people.

1 hour, 3 muffins, 2 bottles of water, 1 full bladder and a VERY long speech about rubber soles with holes in them later I have my prize. These:

Can my shitty old ballet pumps feel me now?!

I’ve been hankering for some loafers / boat type shoes for a while but I have held off in favour of topping up my ISA (people never warn you about how boring being a grown up actually is, do they?). First and foremost, I was attracted to the colour. That dull bronze is very trans-seasonal (and metallic NEVER seems to go out of fashion). I find that black can look harsh in the summer, whereas this colour compliments all seasons’ palettes. First pro: Longevity. Check!

I’m picturing these shoes in all sorts of combinations. In the summer with girly dresses, bare silky legs, manish blazers, long but delicate jewellery. The billowing breeze flowing through my hair not unlike a shampoo advert. Small animals following me, helping me with my tasks at work and bursting into song. A sorta post-modern ironic Cinderella if you will. And when the weather cools, I’m going to work them with slim jeans with narrow turn-ups, a crisp clean shirt and a tailored jacket. My hair will be sleek and chic. Children will cower and shy away from me. This look will be all about being rich and badass and driving a 4 x 4. Second pro: Versatility. Check!

Now, having spent the best part of a weekend wearing said loafers in a combination of the above looks I can confirm that these shoes can also be likened to slippers. I could happily run around in them all day and night. No rubbing, blisters or pinching to report. My only criticism would be (and it is very small) that they do very little to support the ankle. I’m quite unsteady on my paws generally so I have almost gone over on my ankle twice whilst wearing them. That could be down to my own clumsiness rather than the shoes though so I ain’t going to hold this against them. This leads me nicely to my final pro: Practicality. Check!

The big question remains though. If I had to buy these shoes with my own £65 worth of cold hard cash, earned with blood, sweat and tears, would I? If you’d have asked me on Wednesday I’d have said no. They’re just Loafers, right? Cheaper pairs can be found easily. However, having had them in my possession for a weekend, I am starting to wonder how my wardrobe ever worked without them. The technology in the sole that stops sweaty feet and keeps out rain water means they are suitable to wear for most of the year, they work with almost all of the looks I like to rock, and perhaps best of all, they do not hurt my feet at all. No painful wearing in to be endured. In fact, I’m so enamoured that I’m thinking about using some of that ISA money to do my bit to end the recession and buy a pair in pink…

Edith.

The North-South divide

A little spuggy, originally from the North-East of England, I migrated south to London (via Gloucestershire) seven years a go. Being a Northerner living amongst Southerners, I often think about this great ‘divide‘ that I hear people talk about and wonder what it actually translates to. Most of the time I come to one of two conclusions: 1. Who cares? And 2. Why do people think I am Irish?

However, having returned yesterday from a week up North, I have some observations and theories on this topic fresh in my mind (fashion observations mind you, no deep and meaningful comparisons about health, house prices or earnings to be found here!). So, without further a do, here they are:

1. Northern people wear far fewer clothes. No shit Sherlock, I hear you say! It is perhaps an obvious statement, but why unlike their Southern counterparts, has the trend of layering never caught on in these parts? It is ironic as it is FAR colder and therefore the opposite would be expected to be true. However, historically, the North of England was poorer than the south, which means we can assume that fewer clothes were purchased in the region during the good old days. Now, this is no longer the case in the bad new days, but was the precedent for dress code set? When the means to buy more clothes came, people didn’t wear them together for warmth. They continued as those before them had, hardened to the adverse weather conditions, and just had more wardrobe choice. You can see evidence of this every Friday and Saturday night, when hundreds of thousands of men, woman, lads and lasses descend on the pubs and clubs, all of them without jackets. I remember shortly after turning 18 I went to Club Millennium in the Borough wearing just gold bikini bottoms, a gold backless top and gold stilettos (I’m spinning around had just been released if you need an explanation). Now on this occasion I will concede that I did take a small burgundy coloured leather jacket reminiscent of this one Posh and Becks wore, but only on the insistence of my Mam who was concerned about the effect the pouring rain would have on my outfit. My point is, it was usual for me (and still is for everyone else) to go out into winter blizzards wearing just a very mini-skirt, a small top, strappy sandals and no tights or no coat (I’m dry-retching at the bone-chilling thought of it now). There is no doubt in my mind, that should I not have left home for pastures new, the thought of wearing any form of outerwear for a night out would never have occurred to me. Turning blue in the taxi/bus queue is just what one does in the North. On relocating to the South, I discovered the wonder of the ‘cloakroom’ (you don’t tend to find them up North) and I have never since ventured out unsuitably attired for the season, although I still consider it when back home, but these days I am too much of a “Southern softie” much to the amusement of my parents.
2. Northern people wear sports kits as fashion (TOON ARMY, TOON ARMY!). That just doesn’t happen down South; the men veer towards to a long sleeved shirt and the women to Reiss instead. What can we attribute this difference to? Well, as we are all frequently reminded, the North is renown for being friendly and more community orientated. This trusting mindset is probably how the football kit became popularised as everyday wear (and even smart evening wear in some cases). It shows which ‘community’ you align yourself with and who your ‘friends’ are. If you want to be really analytical here, you could draw parallels with the employment opportunities traditionally available down the pits and in the factories where uniforms were standard, and conclude that work uniforms were just traded for social ones… (I just fucking blow myself away sometimes). Anyway, back home I placed myself with the Geordies rather than the Mackems. I spent many an afternoon/evening in the pub wearing my Newcastle shirt mainly wondering why people kept shouting “She-Ra She-Ra!” to me. I honestly thought why do they keep referring to He-Man’s girlfriend? Do I look like her? I suspect I would be quite good at fighting crime. Took me quite some time to realise they meant Alan Shearer the football player and it was actually a greeting as opposed to a statement. On moving down South, it was apparent that sportswear is not appropriate social wear (unless a match is on the box), especially for women. If you wear it in the South, people actually assume you play sport and know the offside rule and stuff. My football shirt has since been banished to the bottom on my wardrobe never to see the light of day again along with my willingness to strike up random conversations with strangers.
3. Northern people make more effort with their appearance on a night out. Women spend hours getting ready, full on beauty rituals are the norm and include washing their hair (even when they washed it that morning), a facial, manicure, pedicure, and applying fake tan and body shimmer. The men, shower, shave, and apply pong. But, the most noticeable difference is the style of clothes. Obviously, there is less off them, but they are also ‘dressier’ to use my Nana’s word. Unlike the people in the South, Northern peoples wardrobes are clearly split into sections: work, weekend and ‘going out’. The latter of these tend to be body-conscious, mainly monochrome (with splashes of red, pink and blue) and accompanied by fully co-ordinated accessories and make-up in the case of the women. There is a huge amount of effort made. This is because most people’s lives up North are geared towards their Friday and Saturday nights out. Which is different to the South, where popular evenings out often fall on weekdays. How does this effect the way people dress though? Well, more people in the North are employed locally or drive to the ‘office’. In the South folks often commute on public transport. This would go a long way to explaining why up North peoples’ appearance on a night out is a stark contrast to those down South. They are able to return home and spend some time preening before going ‘doon the toon’. Back home, it was normal for me to get in from work and spend up to three hours getting ready. I would shave my bikini line every time I went out! That equates to every Friday and Saturday and most Sundays btw (utter madness. And I wasn’t a floozy who was out to get some some either, in case you are wondering. It’s just what one did). In London, I meet my friends for drinks straight from work, often on Wednesdays and Thursdays. If I can be arsed to slick on some lip gloss and spray some deodorant before going, I consider myself to have made an effort and them damn lucky to have seen it! My family think I am shameful.

So you see, people may try and convince you that the North-South divide is about politics, industry and the living wage, but as I think I have proved, it is not. It is clearly about sartorial differences, perhaps originally caused by some of these aforementioned things, but that are now defining cultural trends of the individual regions. The North = revealing, uniformity and glamour. The South = layering, variation and understatement. As someone who has embraced the two ways of living/dressing I can honestly say both are equally fabulous and equally unfathomable to the opposite regional onlooker. That’s what makes each of them great and worth celebrating rather than berating.

Edith

Remember the Chanel Bicycle…? Oh, and summer scarves.

Oh how the Chanel bike made me want to cycle. I considered selling a family member into the slave trade to purchase said bike (I won’t disclose which person from my family because that would be in bad taste). I planned whole outfits around the great love affair this bicycle and I were going to star in. Alas though, it was not to be and I locked my feelings into a tiny box and shoved them under the bed, never to be seen or heard of again. Or so I thought, until this…

Comptoir Des Cotonniers are launching their own bicycle range this summer! And it is even better than Chanel‘s because it includes a tandem bike (£1284). My dreams are suddenly being resurrected, only this time I’m taking the fella with me and my cat Dave in the basket. ROAD TRIP!

This of course means I now need to purchase the season’s much appraised accessory ‘the summer scarf‘. What biking outfit would be complete without it? I’ve been holding out so far, but I can picture it vividly, billowing in the breeze majestically while we pedal down a lavender scented country road. Orrrr, it smacking the fella in the face repeatedly while drivers *shake* their fists in anger at us on Oxford Street. Both options work for me, and mean no end to my summer fun. If I can hold out till payday, I am hankering for this one from Hermes *dribble*, although realistically it will be a trip to All Saints (I know, I know, but their accessories are really rather good these days) for this one.

So there you have it, summer scarves and tandem bikes, 2008 summer must-haves.

Edith

The rise of the geeky, salsa dancing man

Yes – It has finally happened.

“What?!” I hear you cry! The modern man’s wardrobe has expanded outside the realms of the traditional for the first time since the 1800s.

“What is this absurdity of which you speak?!” I hear you exclaim! Brace yourself, for the rise of the – wait for it, waaaaaaait for it… t-shirts and trousers!

“You’re crazy” I see you mouth! But no, I’m not. You see these aren’t just any t-shirts and trousers. No Sir! The t-shirts are revealing and cut low and the trousers are ankle-skimming (not crops you understand, regular trousers that are just a bit to short). The kind made famous by the legendary Thom Browne.

“Utter tosh! This isn’t womens fashion!” I hear you shout! But yes, it’s true. These ‘trends’ witnessed upon the catwalks for the past few seasons, on the odd lanky teenager during a growth spurt and the occasional berated celebrity have now made it to the doors of the mass market.

“Well, I haven’t seen these monstrous and beastly things of which you speak!” I hear you screech! Just wait till next season, AW O8/9 for the cropped trousers; they’re in the look books. And well, the low cut t-shirts are being sold under your very nose in stores everywhere.

“But surely only the likes of Topman will be doing something so utterly mad-capped and men-tar-ley, you know, for the international students to wear?” I hear you say! Yet again, my good friend, you are wrong. Gap, Cos, Banana Republic, Hackett as well as Topman, they’ve all jumped on this bandwagon. Banana Republic has designed a formal suit with ankle revealing trousers if rumours are to be believed. And for crying out loud, man! Brooks Brothers are already selling them!

“But these are some of the most classic and conservative brands on the high street!” I hear you gasp! Yessum, indeedio. True Fact. But even they seem to think it’s the future.

“So, what does this mean for our fellow man’s wardrobe?” I hear you mumble! Well, let me answer your last question, first by stating where I stand on this matter. I (unlike Phoebe) wholeheartedly approve of this new look (on hearing this she smashed her fist onto the table, almost spilling my wine, recoiled in horror and exclaimed “SERIOUSLY!?”). I can only hope that men embrace this look like they would their X Box 360 as though they have been separated from it for several months. And, this isn’t one of those cases like Mrs Prada’s ‘revenge’ where I think boys should be sent down the runway in tutus (although, incidentally, I did *heart* that Prada collection). As a heterosexual female I find this look attractive. I do, damn it! I will not be ashamed anymore! I love this look like I love Girls Aloud! What is not to like? A glimpse of chest? Yes please! Showing a bit of ankle? I’ll jolly well take it! SERIOUSLY, what is not to like?

For those of you that I have already convinced with my politically correct and compelling argument, welcome to the wonderful dark side of fashion, mwahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA, (please keep your hands inside the cart at all times); for the rest of you, let me leave you with this thought. Why is it OK for women to wear these clothes without comment or judgement but not a man? If your answer is “because it is just wrong on a man” that will not suffice and you are a sexist brute who belongs on the Jeremy Kyle show.

To get back to answering your question though “what does this mean for the modern man’s wardrobe?”, well it simply means this: be prepared to see more moobs and more leg over the coming seasons than ever before. Shockingly exciting, non? For those of you that are still a little apprehensive or even concerned, let me give you a few words of guidance that will allow you to love this trend like you would your mother (i.e. without question, even when the shit is being annoyed out of you). The plunge t-shirt combined with the ankle-skimming trouser is a tad too much when worn together (picture a sort of cheesy, geeky, man on his way to a salsa evening if you will), but when worn in isolation with ‘regular’ clothes these items are truly fabulous. So ladies, encourage the men to consider something a little bit different to the norm. And men, be brave in these, such uncertain times. March forward and dress for your country! Make us proud. Try a deep V. Try a short trouser (and if this really is a step too far too soon, I’ll settle for a Reiss button neck t-shirt and some Ted Baker trousers rolled up Dsquared style: see image bottom right).

Now go forth and shop!

Edith